You Can't Avoid True Love
by AnimationNut
Summary: It's Valentine's Day again and Timmy Turner has become a bit of a cynic in regards to what the holiday is meant to represent-finding and celebreating your true love. In a desperate attempt to avoid another Valentine's Day with Tootie, Timmy skips off to Fairy World. It's no use, however. You can't hide from the God of Love on his day, and Timmy has some explaining to do.


**I do not own Fairly Oddparents.**

**You Can't Avoid True Love**

"Unbelievable."

That was the word fourteen year old Timothy 'Timmy' Turner uttered upon entering his high school, Dimmsdale Secondary. The walls were plastered with pink and red hearts, white streamers hung sloppily from the ceiling and the floor was absolutely covered with pink, red and white confetti.

The custodians wouldn't be too happy about that.

"It looks like a kindergartner got loose with craft supplies and went crazy." Timmy muttered, slouching through the hallway as he glared at the disgustingly pink decorations with annoyance. "And the worst part is that Valentine's Day is _tomorrow_."

"Aw, cheer up Timmy!" Wanda urged. The boy glanced down at his pink binder, which was smiling up at him. "I think your school is looking very festive!"

"A little too festive, if you ask me."

"He's just being a big grumpy pants because Cupid _always _pairs him up with Tootie!" Cosmo laughed.

Timmy glared at his green pen. "First of all, I'm not being a big grumpy pants. Second of all, is it _really _too much to ask for him to _not _shoot me with an arrow?"

"But that's his job, Timmy!" Wanda protested. "Everyone is meant to be with someone."

"_I am not meant to be with Tootie!" _Timmy cried, frustrated.

"Talking to your books again, eh, Turner?"

Timmy froze, a few feet away from his locker. He rolled his gaze heavenward and took a deep breath. He had managed to escape many things upon leaving his old elementary school. Francis was sent to the school for juvenile offenders the next town over and the popular kids had all gone to Dimmsdale Elite, a private secondary school that only accepted the richest kids as students. But the one person he hadn't been able to escape was...

"Mr. Crocker," Timmy returned, flicking his eyes towards the hunched-back teacher. "Are you transferring back to Dimmsdale Elementary anytime soon?"

A smirk curled across the pale man's features. "You wish, Turner. I'll be here until the day you graduate. Sorry, _if _you graduate."

"I think you're sabotaging my science grades." Timmy said flatly. "Really, my paper on photosynthesis wasn't _F _worthy."

Denzel Crocker arched an eyebrow and crossed his arms. "The entire report was written on the history of cameras. Photosynthesis has _nothing _to do with photography."

The teenager shrugged lazily. "Eh. I didn't have enough energy to find a dictionary to look the word up."

"It was in your textbook."

"Didn't have the energy to look in there either." Timmy turned and twirled the dial on his combination lock.

"You still haven't explained to me why you were talking to your books." Denzel pressed.

_He's a persistent man, I'll give him that. _Timmy mused. Aloud, he said, "I talk to inanimate objects when I'm lonely." He answered. "Chester and AJ are both sick. Elmer and Sanjay are on a trip for their robotics club. Who else am I going to talk to?"

"You can talk to me about your _fairy godparents!_"

Timmy barely spared a glance as his teacher performed his signature spaz. "Not real," he drawled, replacing his math textbook for his English one. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have class to go." _Not that I want to be there, but if I miss anymore classes my grades will be at the point of no return._

"One day, Turner. I will expose your fairy godparents and prove to the world that I'm right!"

"Mmm-hmm. Good luck with that." Timmy slammed his locker door shut, threw a three-fingered salute at Crocker and headed off to his next class. When he was well out of ear shot of the fairy-obsessed man, Timmy let out a heavy sigh. "And one day, I'll finally be out of your clutches."

"It's a coincidence that Mr. Crocker can teach _any _grade, huh Timmy?" Cosmo spoke.

"Yeah, a coincidence." Timmy grumbled. "If he follows me to college (if I ever make it that far) I'm drawing the line and filing a restraining order."

"I'm surprised you haven't done that by now." Wanda voiced. "You certainly have the grounds to do so."

Timmy shrugged. "He amuses me." He replied honestly. "And since the magic muffin incident, he really hasn't gotten close to winning. But enough about that nut-job. What are you guys doing tomorrow?"

"We made reservations at the new restaurant in Fairy World." Wanda answered. "Mama Cosma is going to babysit Poof."

"_I _can babysit." Timmy pointed out. "You don't have to get Mama Cosma to do it every time."

"Mama loves Poof! She loves to babysit." Cosmo said with a smile. "Oh, that reminds me! She says you need to get a haircut."

Timmy smirked and ran a hand through his shaggy brown hair. "I like my hippy-dippy hair," he said, using the term his father used so often.

"You know Timmy, if you don't want to be with Tootie this Valentine's Day, you can spend the evening with Poof at Mama Cosma's." Wanda suggested. "There's no Tootie in Fairy World."

Timmy thought this over. It was pretty sad, being a teenager and spending the most romantic night of the year at his godfather's mother's place. But he _really _didn't want to be with Tootie this year. The girl had only gotten more obsessive as the years went by and his reluctance to actually treat her like dirt wasn't helping the situation.

It was days like these where he wished Trixie Tang attended the same high school as him.

"Yeah, alright. I honestly don't have anything better to do." Timmy gave a short laugh.

"_Timmy! Happy Early Valentine's Day!"_

Timmy whirled around just in time to see Tootie barrelling down the hall towards him, arms outstretched with her lips puckered eagerly. "I wish there was a puddle in her way!" He hissed.

Wanda shot the boy a stern frown, but reluctantly complied. A small spot of water appeared in Tootie's path, causing the girl to slip and careen into a bank of lockers. Timmy turned his back and headed for his English room, but her sudden sobs and the laughter of observing peers caused him to hesitant in the entryway.

"Aw, heck." He scowled, turned on his heel, and shuffled over to assist the girl.

As he always did.

...

"Timmy! Are you ready?"

When she did not receive a response, Wanda turned away from the boy's mirror hanging above his dresser and glared at the teen, who was sitting in front of his television. "Timmy!"

"Yeah, yeah! I'm ready!" Timmy said dismissively, waving a hand over his shoulder.

Wanda studied his baggy sweatpants and pink hoodie with a wary gaze. "Are you going to put shoes on?"

"Nope. I like walking barefoot in Fairy World. The clouds are so soft."

Wanda rolled her eyes and resumed her attention to the mirror, carefully smoothing out the creases in her yellow dress. "Cosmo! Are _you _ready?"

Her husband poofed out of the fishbowl and floated beside her. His face was blue and his green tie was wrapped tightly around his neck. Wanda gave an exasperated sigh and loosened the neckwear. "There, is that better?"

"Sure is! Thanks, baby!" Cosmo beamed and pecked her on the cheek.

Timmy gagged and fell to the floor, clutching his throat. Poof giggled at the antics of his godbrother and tried to mimic them.

"Stop it!" Wanda scolded and scooped her son up in her arms. "We're late and need to get moving."

"We're _always _late to something." Timmy pointed out, getting to his feet.

"And it's never my fault!" Wanda returned. "Do you need to leave your parents a note or something?"

"Nah. They already left for their date and won't be back for at least five hours." Timmy wrinkled his nose. "And that's fine by me. They can do their gross lovey-dovey Valentine's Day stuff _away _from me. Now let's get out of here before Cupid shows up and hits me with an arrow."

Wanda and Cosmo raised their wands and in an instant, they were in front of Mama Cosma's house in Fairy World. Cosmo knocked eagerly on the door and it was thrown open. "Cosmo!" Mama squealed, hugging her son tightly. "How's my baby boy?"

"Great, Ma!"

"Wanda," Mama greeted politely, inclining her head. Over the years their rivalry had cooled significantly, mostly due to the birth of Poof.

"Mama Cosma," Wanda greeted back. She gave her son a quick hug before handing him over to his grandmother. "Thanks for watching Poof and Timmy."

"Um, I don't really need to be watched-"Timmy started.

"It's my pleasure," Mama Cosma said. "It's always lovely to see my grandson again. And Timmy too, of course."

Timmy yelped as the woman pinched his cheeks. "Ouch! I mean, uh, it's nice to see you, Mama Cosma."

"Is that my little girl at the door?" A voice boomed from within the house.

"Oh! Yes, I almost forgot. Your father is here, Wanda."

The pink-haired fairy brightened. "Daddy's here?"

The big man himself swung around the corner, joining Mama Cosma in the entryway. "My little girl!" He bellowed and grabbed his daughter into a bear hug.

"What are you doing here?" Wanda asked.

"Well, I heard this little lady was watching over my favourite grandson, so I decided to help out." Big Daddy tickled Poof's chin and the baby squealed happily. "But if I knew Beaver Boy was joining him, I might have reconsidered."

"Gee, thanks."

"We really must be going." Wanda said, pulling away from her father and checking her watch. "We should be back around eleven."

"You better behave yourself, mister." Big Daddy growled, jabbing a thick finger at Cosmo.

"I will!" Cosmo said quickly. "I promise!"

"See you guys later! And Timmy?"

"Yeah, Wanda?"

"Behave yourself!" Wanda said sternly before poofing away with Cosmo.

Timmy scowled at the fairy dust cloud they left behind. "What does she think I'm gonna do? Single-handedly destroy Fairy World?"

"Haven't you done that before?" Mama asked innocently, ushering the boy inside the house.

"No! Well, yeah, maybe. Once. Or twice." Timmy screwed his face up in thought. "Probably more."

"And you wonder why she's worried?" Big Daddy snorted. "I won't be surprised if you set this place on fire!"

"Don't give him any ideas!" Mama Cosma cried.

Timmy rolled his eyes and dropped onto the green couch in the living room. "I'm not going to set this place on fire! At least, not on purpose."

"Timmy funny!" Poof laughed from Mama Cosma's arms.

"Yes, he's a real riot. Would you like to help Grandma fix dinner?"

"Yay!"

The two left the living room, leaving Timmy and Big Daddy alone. The tough trash fairy cast a glance at the fourteen year old lounging on the couch, his bare feet propped up on the armrest. "Where are your shoes, punk?"

"At home." Timmy answered, too lazy to look back at the man. "I like feeling the clouds beneath my feet."

"You're an odd kid, you know that?"

"So I've been told."

...

An few hours later, when Timmy had been fed and annihilated in a game of poker with the two adults, the boy decided to take a walk. Poof was asleep, and he had a feeling Mama Cosmo and Big Daddy would appreciate being alone for a bit. "I'm going for a walk!" Timmy called, hovering by the door.

"Alright, but don't wander too far, and try not to destroy anything." Mama Cosma called back.

"Kay." Timmy agreed and left the house. A grin crossed his face when his feet sunk into the soft white clouds. "Ah, I love this place."

He took a stroll in a random direction, eyeing the multiple couples that floated past. A slight frown crossed his features and he shoved his hands in his hoodie pocket. "Another Valentine's Day that didn't exactly go the way I wanted." He muttered under his breath.

"Hey, bub! I want to have a word with you!"

Timmy winced and reluctantly turned around. He managed a smile upon seeing the God of Love himself floating a few feet away. "What's up, Cupid? Have a good day?"

"The best year I've ever had." Cupid boasted. "Except for one little thing-_you _skipped out on me!"

"I didn't skip out!" Timmy protested. "You didn't get me at school, and I've been here since five!"

"Oh, please. You're not ten anymore. You're fully capable of staying home by yourself. And I doubt you suddenly had the desire to visit Mama Cosma."

"You, sir, need to stop spying on me." Timmy said sternly. "I said nothing about Mama Cosma."

"It's not spying, it's surveillance."

"Same thing!"

"You were purposely avoiding me, kid. You know my route better than anyone and I don't hit Dimmsdale until late. If you're not around Tootie, you can't be hit by my arrow. You want to explain to me why?"

Timmy shrugged. "I dunno."

"Teenagers." Cupid sighed. "All they do is give you attitude."

He gave his wand a wave and in an instant Timmy found himself sitting at a small table outside at a cafe. The boy rolled his eyes and dropped his chin into his hands. "If I didn't know any better, I would think you just kidnapped me."

"Good thing you know better." Cupid waved a waiter over and ordered a coffee. "What do you want?"

"I don't have any money."

"It's on me, bub."

"Are you gonna make me talk?"

"If everything goes how I want it to, you bet."

Timmy sighed in defeat. "You guys got French cappuccinos up here?" He asked the waiter.

The man nodded and disappeared. He returned a few seconds later with their beverages, placed them in front of them and left again.

"Are you sure you should be drinking caffeine?" Cupid asked, eyeing the large glass warily. "You tend to go wild when you're fired up."

"I have a feeling I'm going to need the caffeine to get me through this." Timmy responded, taking a sip. "Alright, I guess I was avoiding you because I didn't want to spend another Valentine's Day with Tootie."

"But she's your match!"

"No she's not!" Timmy cried, pounding his fist on the table to emphasize his frustration.

"Are we going to have another debate on Trixie and how awful a match she is for you?" Cupid asked. "Because I'm certain we had that chat when you were eleven."

"I know that Trixie and I will never be." Timmy admitted. "The only times she ever liked me was when I was doing something that directly benefited her or I caught her attention with magic. But there has to be _someone _out there that isn't crazy and obsessive!"

"Tootie's sweet!" Cupid defended. "And she adores you."

"Too much! What kind of guy likes seeing plush dolls of themselves being carried by the girl who made them?" Timmy crossed his arms and pouted. "It's creepy!"

"Have you tried, I don't know, _talking _to her? Maybe if you explain how you feel she'll tune it down and you guys can live happily ever after!"

"There's no such thing as happily ever after."

At the horrified gaze Cupid was shooting him, Timmy realized that he had accidentally said that out loud. "Oops. Uh, just disregard that prior statement."

"Heartless fiend!" Cupid bemoaned, clutching his heart dramatically. "Are you saying that all my hard work is for nothing?"

"Not _always_." Timmy said hastily. "It's just...sometimes the love you believe you give people turns into something else."

"Now you're just trying to kill me."

"No! Ugh." Timmy ran a hand down his face. "Can we please forget I said anything?"

"Sorry, buster. You're explaining this one." Cupid leaned back in his chair and sipped his coffee.

"Aw, geez." Timmy grumbled. "Okay. I think that you really do, for the most part, find people that could be together forever. But it's like you said to me before, the arrows only work on Valentine's Day. If it's true love, then the effects won't wear off. But I think that what may start out as true love morphs into something...less than what it's supposed to be."

"Example."

"Um...okay. My dad loves my mom, but there are times when he'll ignore her for days on end for something stupid like a brand-new car. And there are times my mom will ignore my father, choosing instead to admire the things he gives her rather than him himself."

"But regardless, they still love each other. And they're still together, right?"

"Yeah..." Timmy admitted. "But I don't think it's the love they started out with."

"I think you're trying to say something, sport."

Timmy screwed his eyes shut and hastily said, "I don't believe in true love, okay?"

A rather terrible silence followed after that admission.

_Oh, he's going to smite me into another dimension. Why isn't he saying anything? Oh, crap! What if that was too much and it killed him on the spot?! _

Timmy's eyes snapped open and it was to his great relief to see Cupid still floating and still alive. But what worried him was the critical stare Cupid was giving him.

"Why?" Cupid finally asked. He leaned forwards on the table and rested his chin in his hand, the other wrapped around his coffee mug.

"Well..."Timmy said hesitantly. "There are divorces for one thing. People say they just fell out of love. Then there are people who are selfish. They use love as a take rather than a give-and-take. Take Vicky, for example. She only wants someone who's rich."

"That's a horrible example. Vicky's evil."

"Fine. Um...Mark's parents, Gripullon and Jipjorrulac. Jipjorrulac was constantly being taken advantage of by Gripullon, and she retaliated by using Poof to get _him _to do stuff for her."

"It was only because she felt underappreciated, and Gripullon genuinely didn't realize he was hurting her feelings. He made it up to her, didn't he?"

Timmy frowned. "Yes. What frightens me is that you _know _he did, and you weren't even there."

"I have my ways." Cupid smirked and crossed his arms. "Continue."

"Look, I do believe in love. I just don't think there's such a thing as true love. You don't fall in love at first sight. If you find a person and you end up spending the rest of your life with them, great. Fantastic. But it's not because it was meant to be. It's because you got to know one another and spent a while with each other and developed love. It doesn't just happen with a snap of your fingers."

"What about the marriages where people marry on the spot?"

"Those hardly work out." Timmy said dryly.

"What about those that do?"

"They got lucky."

"Hmm. My turn. Cosmo and Wanda have been together for centuries. She's smart and he's a moron. Why do they work well together?"

"They love each other."

"But you said yourself people can fall out of love. Why haven't they when they're such opposites?"

"Uh-"

"And what about Jorgen and the Tooth Fairy? He's a muscle-bound hothead and she's a sweetheart. How have they been together for this long?"

"Er-"

"And what about Anti-Cosmo and Anti-Wanda? Contrary to what you might think, the antis aren't obligated to copy every single aspect of their counterpart's lives. Anti-Cosmo genuinely fell for Anti-Wanda. And here they are, centuries later. How have _they _been together for this long?"

"Um-"

"Let's not forget myself and-"

"Okay!" Timmy cried, waving a napkin in the air in surrender. "You bring up good points. Maybe I'm just cynical and don't understood how this love thing works. Maybe I won't ever until I encounter my true love-_if _she exists."

"Oh, she exists. And she's closer than you might think." Cupid wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. "If you just stopped being so stubborn, you might see it."

Timmy regarded Cupid dubiously. Before he could respond, someone clapped him on the back, causing him to jump in his seat and yelp in surprise.

"Ah, you still scream like a girl." Juandissimo laughed. "My bucktoothed amigo, how little you have changed. Am I interrupting something?"

"Young Timothy is having trouble with love."

"Lady troubles, eh?"

"No." Timmy pouted. "Just one crazy senorita who this guy thinks is my true love-which may or may not exist."

"It exists." Cupid sang. He reached into his holder and removed the last arrow. "You got a few hours, mister. Use them wisely."

Timmy took his arrow and regarded the golden letters that spelled out his name. "On Tootie," he asked wearily.

"Come on, bub. Tell me you don't glance at her now and then, or help her with her books or do something nice for her on a daily basis." Cupid chided.

Timmy turned red. "If you don't stop spying on me I'm filing a restraining order." He threatened feebly, knowing he had lost the annual battle (again).

"Surveillance!" Cupid corrected and waved his wand, causing the boy to disappear in a puff of smoke. "He's a good kid, but he really needs to learn that I'm always right."

"A good lesson to learn, indeed." Juandissimo mused, taking the seat Timmy had just vacated across from the God of Love. "I suppose it was a good day, then?"

Cupid grinned. "One of the best, bub. One of the best."

**I think Timmy would become a bit of a cynic about love as he got older. And of course, Cupid would be there to have a talk with the boy :P Some points may not make sense to some people, as I had difficulty understanding what I was trying to say myself xD Hopefully the basic point got across, though.**

**Review please, but no flames!**


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